


Virus

by stoicscripter



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Based off of "The Trial" episode script, M/M, aged up Dib
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-09 05:59:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12270324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stoicscripter/pseuds/stoicscripter
Summary: Zim is kidnapped by aliens... again, and he doesn't appear to be capable of escaping on his own; but going out to take him back to Earth might just pull Dib into a dangerous battle against the Irken Empire.





	Virus

**Author's Note:**

> Before you read please note that there aren't any warnings just yet, but there probably will be in the future cuz i'm a kinky piece of shit lol. I will be adding in warnings and i'll be sure to add any warnings in at the beginning of each chapter and in the tags as they come. That being said if you couldn't read Conquest this story may not be for you, I'm not certain that it will be quite so hardcore but Conquest is a perfect example of the things I enjoy writing. Please stay safe and remember to read the warnings as the come, enjoy!

It was reminiscent of an event that had happened years ago in grade school; he had been giving a presentation about alien life to a bunch of skeptics-albeit he was a lot more calm about it this time-when it fell from the sky.

He was so used to being doubted and ridiculed that the preceding taunts from his fellow man very nearly rolled off his back without effect and he persisted despite the way his gut twisted into familiar knots. It seemed he was destined to be the only living person who knew and cared about the alien menace who lived among them planning their end; but very rarely-so rarely it had only happened twice in ten years-he was able to convince someone that there was an alien on Earth, and the green-skinned heckler in the front row was he: Invader Zim.

As the accusation fell from his lips a pod fell from the sky and very nearly crushed him where he stood; years of battling the alien had honed his reflexes and he was able to jump back seconds before it smashed the podium. Someone screamed and conversation immediately erupted amoung the couple dozen people gathered before him. A door fell open from the pod and the crowd hushed as half a dozen creatures poured out, spotted the alien in the front row and grabbed him. Dib watched paralyzed as Zim was dragged into the pod kicking and screaming; the door shut behind them and after a moment the ground shook as it shot off back into space.

There was a moment of silence before someone in the crowd started to applaud and it was quickly followed by more people joining in “Man, I just thought that guy was crazy! I had no idea this was a performance!” Dib grit his teeth and resisted the urge to start screaming, these people would never get it. Zim could strap them to a table with a giant alien laser pointed at their head and they would probably still think he was just a guy in a costume. Why were they all so stupid?

Once he was alone Dib sat down and began to sketch out the appearance of the aliens who had grabbed Zim. He started with the eyes, smaller than Zim’s but round and deep. They seemed tired but he had no way of knowing if they were naturally that way, or if something burdened them with exhaustion. They didn’t have a nose but still had rows of sharp teeth. Two horns sprouted from their foreheads, but each creature’s horns were different so he sketched next to the drawing two other types of curl he’d seen. The body was very humanoid with two arms that ended in fingers… though he had no idea if they had as many as a human or as few as an Irken, or if they had claws like Zim. He left a note for further observation should he ever run into such a creature again. Finally he got to the legs, there were two of them, though they reminded him of an insect. It didn’t seem possible that they could balance with them and he made another note to observe their legs in greater detail.

Aside from that Dib put the event behind him, this wasn’t the first time Zim had been snatched by other aliens and it probably wouldn’t be the last; but after a few days without hearing from the little alien he got curious. If Zim was back he was planning something, but if he was still gone Dib could probably find some evidence to expose the alien to the world. He went over to the small, glowing green house and watched it for a moment to see if anything was different. Through the front window he could see Zim’s robot minion sitting on the couch, but he couldn’t see much beyond that.

Dib knocked on the front door and the tiny robot answered disguised in its ridiculous dog costume, he’d grown so tall he could probably step on and crush the little thing effortlessly. Of course, right now he needed to know if the incompetent little creature knew anything, “So… it’s been a few days, where’s Zim?”

The little bot stared back at him blankly for a second before it screamed and ran past him to chase after an ice cream truck that just passed by the cul-de-sac. It left the door wide open so Dib shrugged and stepped inside. He’d been inside of Zim’s base several times but it never failed to set him on edge, at any moment Zim could have the entire house attack him and he’d be in a fight for his life; but today everything was still, and silent.

Dib crept deeper into the house and down into the bowels of Zim’s secret Irken base and still he was met without an ounce of resistance. Did this mean that Zim was really gone? He looked around a moment longer before he headed over to access one of the many computer terminals throughout Zim’s massive base. He quickly found that this was the first time Zim’s computer had been accessed since he was kidnapped… which must mean Zim was still trapped.

So, it appeared that the Earth was safe and he was free to explore Zim’s base to his heart’s content. This was great! A little boring… but great! By the time Zim came back he could have the information he needed to finally defeat Zim once and for all!

Unless Zim didn’t come back…

That thought sat sour in his head as he combed through the information on Zim’s computer for anything useful, though his efforts were absent minded. He didn’t want for Zim to be gone so effortlessly, he wanted to win; he wanted to prove once and for all that he wasn’t crazy! If Zim never came back he’d never be able to prove to his dad, or anyone, that aliens were real! He’d never become the world’s leading paranormal investigator! He wouldn’t go down in history as anything more than Professor Membrane’s son.

… but what could he do?

He sighed a little bit as he looked up towards the ceiling of endless wires, “Hey Zim’s Computer… you can talk right?” He asked, though he wasn’t sure if he could expect a response; he knew Zim’s Computer could talk, but he wasn’t sure of the parameters. Could it talk in any part of Zim’s base or just certain areas? How intelligent was it? How useful could it be to a human who wasn’t authorized to use it?

“Of course I can.” It replied in a surprisingly emotional tone of voice for a computer; in the Star Searcher television shows the computers were always so monotone, but this one sounded irritated. It was probably an alien thing.

“Can you tell me where Zim is?” he asked it as he searched the wires overhead for some sign of a speaker, he really couldn’t tell where the voice was coming from.

“You’re a hostile alien species, why would I do that?” it asked, its voice drenched heavily in sarcasm. Dib sat up a bit and faced the computer terminal in front of him. He cracked his fingers and wiggled them over the keys.

“Guess I have to hack in and find the information myself.” He warned as he settled his fingers over the keys; he gave it a moment to reply before he started to type.

“Good luck with that.” Was the only response and Dib set to work trying to find the information he was looking for, at least the computer had inadvertently confirmed that it knew where Zim was. Finding the information was relatively easy; Zim was on a planet known as Shmoopiedoo and, after laughing over such an absurd name, Dib downloaded a map that he could load onto the spaceship still sitting in his garage.

Then he began researching the planet and its people. It was populated mainly by Vortians, creatures that matched his sketches; their home planet of Vort had been conquered by Zim’s people, but a few thousand free ones still lived on Shmoopiedoo. The planet was classified as “almost worthless” and so the Irken Empire mainly just tortured the inhabitants by making them literally beg with their heads to the ground, and sacrifices of anything from food to their own children, just to get off-world supplies. Dib had to wonder what they had to do to be able to fly out to Earth to kidnap Zim. He almost felt bad that he wanted to go and take Zim back from them… almost…

It was two days later that Dib felt that he had enough information to make the trip, but standing outside of the tiny spaceship he had second thoughts. This was a lot of work and a lot of trouble to go through to get Zim back to Earth again, was it worth it? He was close to getting evidence of big foot, and the ghost video he’d captured only had ten comments claiming it was fake, a new low! He didn’t really need Zim, did he? He also had his entire alien base to explore and show off, and without Zim he was free to… to…

No, it just wasn’t the same when he didn’t defeat Zim himself… and they would find some stupid reason to believe Zim’s base was actually owned by the government of… of Japan! Or something..! He needed Zim.

Dib climbed into the tight space and made sure he had everything he needed before he started up the ship and began the long journey to planet Shmoopiedoo.

There was a lot of time to think as he stared out at the stars that passed him by; he thought about his eventual victory, the pride his father would finally feel, the excitement of TV interviews and news articles. He might even get his own lab and his own TV show just like his father! What would it be called? Maybe something with alliteration like Mysterious Mysteries? Paranormal Pride… no… Paranormal, Poltergeists, and Phantoms? No… maybe Dib’s Paranormal Studies? No… who would watch something with ‘studies’ in the title? Well, he had a lot of time to think he didn’t need the name right away.

He thought about Zim and how he would react, he would probably beg and plead and bargain and threaten and scream until his voice broke and his tears had formed a puddle beneath his strapped down head. These thoughts got him a little hot under the collar, a little too worked up. So he stopped himself more often than not to think about something else.

But when he couldn’t stop himself he ended up jerking off with the sound of Zim’s voice pleading in his mind… what was wrong with him? Power was an attractive thing, one that Dib almost never had a taste of, and it was hard to resist the allure of it; but Zim was his enemy and future test subject, he would leave these thoughts a fantasy.

Finally after weeks of travel he arrived in Shmoopiedoo’s solar system and thanks to his Irken ship they didn’t have a problem with him until it became obvious where he was going. Then they called him and Dib swallowed back his nerves as he answered, “You aren’t Irken! Where did you get that ship!?” the Irken who called him snapped, irritated and hostile.

Dib swallowed and went for a version of the truth, “It… crashed on my planet and the pilot was dead… I fixed it and decided to go and see some planets.”

The Irken eyed him critically, “You’re… a tourist..? What planet are you from..? Why this planet?”

Dib hesitated a moment; he couldn’t tell them Earth, he’d get shot down as an enemy for sure! He had to tell them something quick, and in a moment of quick thinking and desperation he told them a fake planet from Star Searcher, “I’m from Vurcon, I just… liked the sound of the planet’s name. Shmoopiedoo… Shmooooooopiedooooo.” He laughed to cover his nerves and said the name again, “It sounds fun, doesn’t it?”

“Vurcon huh…” There was a pause as the Irken looked down at something Dib couldn’t see, “It says here that Vurcons are fictional…” the Irken was glaring at him which prompted Dib to laugh even louder.

“S-See that’s what we want everyone to think!” Dib insisted as the Irken eyed him and the information on his screen; and then, as if by magic, the little Irken nodded as his expression lost its edge.

“Ok that makes sense. Your ship is too small to be bringing in any significant supplies so I’ll just let you in. You won’t be there long anyhow, the place is a dump.” The Irken cut the communication and Dib sighed with relief, he couldn’t believe that actually worked.

Dib piloted to the planet’s surface and towards the small, only town on its surface; the place really was a dump. The buildings were made of part scrap, part wood with crooked antennae sticking out of the buildings and exposed power lines that connected them. It was surrounded by a crooked wall to keep out enemies, though Dib was certain the Irkens above could easily obliterate the entire town without even touching the planet.

The creature perched in a tower by the gate was Vortian and it didn’t notice him at first, they likely didn’t have very many visitors with the army in the sky looming over them. He waited a moment before he cleared his throat to get its attention. It screamed and promptly toppled out if view, he could hear it scrambling to get back up, its chair scraping against the floor.

Sunken eyes finally peered down from the tower, horns–wait they were moving–antenna(?) perked slightly forward, “You… What kind of blup are you? What do ya want huh? Huh!?”

“I’m a tourist.” It had worked well enough to get him on the planet in the first place, he hoped it would be enough to get him inside, “I just thought your planet would be neat to look at!”

The Vortian peered down at him silently for a moment before it nodded and reached out of sight, “That makes sense, come on in and spend all of your munnies!” The large wooden door creaked open and Dib paused for only a moment before he walked inside and got an even better look at the town.

The streets were cracked with weeds growing through them and potholes that littered the streets, there were dead flowers in someone’s garden and a broken fountain in the middle of the town that spurted water in small, choked little bursts. As he walked further into the town it became very apparent that he was being watched by every creature he happened to pass and Dib couldn’t help but feel nervous under their curious gaze. He fumbled with his camera and took a few pictures so they’d think he was just another tourist enjoying the sights.

As he snapped a picture of the fountain he heard someone call out, “Hey! Isn’t that one of the creatures from that planet? Y'know the one where we kidnapped Zim from?” He turned to the source of the voice and saw two Vortians, one of whom was harshly scolding he other quietly. This was too easy, he thought he’d have to spend a while hunting for information about Zim, but it had practically been hand delivered and wrapped in a neat little bow.

The Vortians saw him staring and promptly shut their mouths in firm little lines; Dib approached them and they cowered a little, but didn’t back away, “You have Zim?” he asked and they glanced at each other before one spoke.

“Zim? Nope. Never heard that name before. Nu-uh. No way. No one said Zim. Is that a type of Gersploosh?” even if Dib hadn’t known it was lying, the fast way it was talking and the nervous quiver to it’s voice gave it away.

“I heard you just now say it!” They cowered a little at the loudness of his voice so he toned it down, “I know he’s here somewhere, I just want to find him; and I want to know if the ones who took him are a friend or a foe…”

There was a longer pause as the two Vortians looked between each other, waiting for the other to speak up; finally the second one spoke, “Uh… we aren’t anyone’s enemy, we’re just living here on our planet peacefully…”

“It doesn’t seem very friendly to kidnap someone, even if that someone is as annoying and stupid as Zim.” Dib watched them fidget and squirm, desperately trying to avoid giving him information. Dib straightened up a little taller, he remembered that height was important to Zim and his people, and it seemed to work on these Vortians too.

“O-Ok look… Zim is… uh… just… an enemy of ours… too..?” One of the Vortians said; the other elbowed its side, but it was too late to retract.

Dib held back an excited grin and leaned in closer, “I knew it! You have him! So, you’re against Zim conquering my planet?”

They seemed a little astonished, perhaps they thought he was a spy for the Irkens… that would make sense, “Well… not yours specifically. All planets. The Irken Emp–” The second Vortian smacked its hand over its friend’s mouth.

“We can’t talk here! They could be listening.” The second one hissed, voice a low whisper, “Lard Nar can determine if you really are a potential ally.”

“Ok, take me to them, then.” The Vortians shared a look before they nodded to each other and began to lead the way. Dib followed cautiously just in case it was a trap, but the Vortians simply led him to a slightly larger building than the others and took him inside. Once they were inside there was simply chaos.

There were more aliens inside here, more than just Vortians and they were running around screaming at one another, “Guard the door!” one yelled above the others, “Guard the windows! Guard everything!” it cried as the aliens quickly fell into place trying to guard everything; they stumbled over each other before they got set up at all the exits, even the two Vortians who brought him scrambled to help though they were just as clueless as Dib as to what was going on.

“What happened?” One asked as it moved in front of the door to guard it, Dib could see the panic in its dark, sunken eyes.

“Zim escaped! We think he’s still inside! He killed Miggle!” The Vortian who appeared to be in charge cried with dismay as it reached to press its tiny hands over its goggles.

“Not Miggle!” One of the two cried, though Dib quickly tuned them out; he knew Zim and instinct told him where to look. He looked up and there he spotted him… Invader Zim was plastered to the ceiling, his Pak legs were clinging to a fixture on the ceiling as he looked down on the leader. He didn’t know he’d been spotted just yet as anyone else would have called out immediately to warn the leader, but Dib had no real reason to act just yet. It wouldn't be easy to get Zim to come down if he said anything, even though he could probably reach the ceiling easily from where he was; Zim was quick and craft, and he wouldn't come down with so many of the enemy on the ground. But if he waited just a moment for Zim to make his move... Zim dropped from the ceiling with a cackle and landed right on the Vortian who screamed with fear as it toppled to the floor.


End file.
